Panda Plan - Blu-ray Review

Michael Scott said:

Panda Plan


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Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score:



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View attachment 80740 Movie
As a huge Jackie Chan fan, I’m willing to give most of what he puts out a try at least. He has had about as much influence on the action movie genre as Bruce Lee did, carving out for himself a gigantic niche of comedy and high-flying stunt work that had never been seen on screen before and hasn’t been replicated since. I skipped physics during my Jr. Year of high school just so I could go see Rush Hour in the dollar theater (I was broke as could be in those days)! But post 2005 his career has taken an interesting turn, where the megastar simply seems to take weird Chinese projects that don’t seem to appeal to much of anyone anymore, and more seems like an effort to keep his stunt team employed more than anything. That being said, he’s had some fun little gems in the last few years such as Ride On and The Foreigner, so I went in with an open mind. Coming out on the other hand…..that’s a different story.

Panda Plan can only be summarized by me stating that it’s pretty much a mixture of Home Alone and Jackie Chan’s Gorgeous, just without the fun and excitement of either movie. The film introduces us to real-life Jackie Chan (umm….played by Jackie Chan) who has come to a local animal sanctuary/zoo where he is publicly “adopting” an endangered Panda (that is pure CGI, and you can’t help but notice it every second of the time it’s on-screen). However, a group of mercenaries crash the party and try to steal said Panda, as they have a buyer who’s going to pay $100 million for the endangered animal. Along with the Panda’s caretaker Xiaozhu (Ce Shi), the two have to stay alive long enough to get out, and possibly beat the ever-living snot out of the mercs along the way.

View attachment 80741 Panda Plan is one of those films that makes me want to forget about it the second the film’s credits start rolling. It seems to be playing to an audience that doesn’t exist, teetering on the edge of being a light-hearted kids film, but also pushing into heavier action territory at the same time. The comedy is so overly thick and heavy in that Chinese/Hong Kong sort of way that it actually pushed it even MORE than Gorgeous did over 20 years ago. The only thing is, Gorgeous was loads of fun with stunning action scenes. Here a 70-year-old Chan does his best with the fisticuffs, but he’s woefully slowed down compared to the stuntmen he’s fighting.

Ironically, the one feature that I liked the most about this film is also why it’s sort of cringey at the same time. The film does an old 80s/90s Hong Kong stunt of having the bad guys be your typical white guys, but since not many Americans/Aussies/English stuntmen are over there in China, they’re forced to use martial artists from Latvia and other Eastern European countries. This means they don’t speak Mandarin and are forced to do this hybrid English/Mandarin blend that is so hilariously comical. Yes, it’s cheesy, but also that particular element brought back fond memories of a myriad of 80s and 90s Hong Kong films where the same thing had to be utilized, so yeah, my nostalgia button was pushed a bit.

But all in all, Panda Plan is not a great movie. There’s not much you can salvage from the movie outside of Latvian martial artist Sean Kohnke hamming it up as best he can. The plot is basically home alone if Kevin was an elderly man, and the humor goes so over the top that I genuinely am kind of confused about WHO the target audience is. Judging by the box office over in China, it seems they thought the same thing.




Rating:

Not Rated by the MPAA




Video:
View attachment 80742 If the movie isn’t exactly to your liking, at least the video score will be. Shot entirely digital with a 2K master (by my best guess lurking around my favorite kung-fu forums), Panda Plan looks amazing in 1080p. The film has a very modern glossy look, complete with the slightly oversaturated colors that mainland Chinese films seem to have. The colors are rich and deep, with great black levels and very VERY few instances of color banding. Fine details stay in the superb to amazing range, with only a few small times where the CGI became a bit too obvious, with some mild soft bits around the edges to try and hide said CGI.









Audio:
View attachment 80743 The same can be said for the audio mix, where we’re given dual 5.1 DTS-HD MA tracks in both English and Mandarin. Well, English and “Mandarish?”, as the Mandarin track is a strange mixture of straight-up English and Mandarin, depending on which Eastern European stuntman was talking at the time. The mixes are robust and very well done, with great surround usage during the fights, and several really stand-out moments with the bass. It’s not an overly unbalanced bass either. Instead, it is actually one of the best-integrated uses of bass I’ve heard in a while. Subtle when needed, subsequently adding some thump to the score, only for certain action sequences (such as the forklift slamming backward into a wall) where it was jaw-dropping.











Extras:
View attachment 80744 • Theatrical Trailer
• Well Go USA Previews

Final Score:
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As much as I would love to gush about the film due to being a Jackie Chan die-hard, I just can’t do it. The film is a weird amalgamation of Home Alone meets Gorgeous, pushing slapstick humor above fight sequences or plot, making me feel that this was almost meant for children in the single-digits age range. The tech specs are great (minus the traditionally minimal extras), but overall the only people that I would recommend this to would be die-hard Jackie Chan fans.


Technical Specifications:

Starring: Jackie Chan, Xian Wei, Ce Shi, Bing Jia, Sean Kohnke, Danny Ray
Directed by: Luan Zhang
Written by: Wei Xu, Meng Yida, Luan Zhang
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1, Mandarin DTS-HD MA 5.1, English, Mandarin DD 2.0
Subtitles: English, French
Studio: Well Go USA
Rated: NR
Runtime: 100 minutes
Blu-Ray Release Date: February 18th, 2025
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Recommendation: Skip It

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