Charlie's Angels - Blu-ray Review

[Michael Scott]

Charlie's Angels



Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score:


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Movie
I grew up watching the ORIGINAL Charlie’s Angels TV show with Farrah Fawcett on syndicated channels, midst shows like Black Sheep Squadron, M.A.S.H. and countless episodes of daytime judge shows (Judge Judy etc) I got in a healthy dose of scantily clad heroines kicking butt and taking girl power names. As a young adult I actually liked the Drewy Barrymore/Lucy Liu/Cameron Diaz film remakes (even though the second one wasn’t nearly as good) and had a good old time watching the trio of women ham it up on screen. I’m not one to play the whole “ermagoodness! that’s feminazi trash!” routine when I watch my films, as I really just like to lose myself in entertainment. As long as they’re not beating you over the head with whatever messages they have underneath the general story line I’m good to just sit back and chomp away at my popcorn. HOWEVER, Charlie’s Angels 2019 is something even I couldn’t ignore.

Elizabeth Banks of Zach and Miri, Pitch Perfect fame was the brain child behind this needless reboot. She wrote, directed and starred in the film, as well as hand a hand in producing it, AND advertising it out the ying yang back in last 2019. The casting of Kristen Stewart (who seems to come from the acting school of Steven Seagal judging by her facial expressions) made me hesitate just a bit, but then came the media snafus. Elizabeth Banks sort of went overboard with her statements about how if this movie flopped it just proved that the patriarchy was alive and well etc. I started getting a little Ghostbusters reboot desperation vibe coming from her, and the warning bells went off fully within the first 15 minutes of actually watching the movie when I realized that this was a flaming bag of dog poo left on our cinematic porches.

The film opens up with an Angel named Sabina (Kristen Stewart) who is putting on seductress decoy mission for Bosley (Patrick Stewart) who is bringing in a whole team of Angels to capture an arms dealer. Mission goes well, everyone cheers and we then fast forward another year to to the present where Bosley is retiring after 40 years (we get a little montage of his history as Bosley, bringing back pictures and scenes from the original Angels, as well as the 2000 era reboot in one nice little wink at the camera) midst the cheers and cries of all his friends and other Bosleys (it’s revealed here that Bosley is a title or rank, and there are many Bosleys all over the world helping Angels the globe over).

There’s an unfinished mission on the table, though. Whistle blower Elena (Naomi Scott) has been working with another Bosley (Djimon Hounsou) only to be killed in action when someone who doesn’t want Elena’s secrets about her boss’s new battery exposed sends an assassin after her, killing Bosley in the process. Taking over for the dead Bosley comes in a NEW Bosley, otherwise known as Bos (Elizabeth Banks) who wants to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible. Poor Selena is now sucked into a world of subterfuge and spywork as Sabina, Jane (Ella Balisnksi) and Elena have to track down who is after her, and get the device from her company that she’s leaking information on to the CEO of the company so that he can put a kibosh on the misuse of it.

Yeahhhhhhhhhh. Sadly Charlie’s Angels 2019 falls as flat as can be, and the protestations of Elizabeth Banks in the news media has really kind of backfired against her. The claims of sexism and misogyny within half of your target demographic is a sure fire way to alienate a good chunk of your box office chances. Unfortunately it’s not just Banks and her mouth that’s a problem. Her script, her direction, and her casting choices are heavily at fault here. The movie is one giant beating over the top of your head with #MeToo style language, ridiculous sequences that are only there to serve as “lesson” and plain inept screen writing. I hate to say it, but I could have overlooked a lot of the writing flaws she had actually made a good movie. Girl power movies can be a whole lot of fun, but all of the “fun” has pretty much been sapped out of the production. The dialog for the heroes is completely out of a Human Resources anti-sexual harassment notebook that you can’t help but laugh at the clinical and robotic nature of it, and the dialog of the villains caters to the “evil Misogyny-R-Us” handbook that it just becomes wince worthy.

The action is lackluster with bad editing, the humor is pretty much nonexistent (I mean, there are lines that Elizabeth Banks obviously considers “jokes”, but nothing I would actually laugh at) and the over the top dramatic pauses as they all but break the 4th wall and stare at the camera saying “look, this is an important social message” just got old after a while. I wanted to like Charlie’s Angels 2019 simply because I like the franchise that came before it, and usually don’t put much stock in the hullabaloo where one political side is getting outraged at the other side and vice versa. Usually those turn out to be way overblown and instead they’re just missing out on a fun movie. Not this time. Everything wrong with Charlie’s Angels 2019 can be summed up with two words. Elizabeth Banks. The direction, acting, casting and writing from her is especially abysmal and the movie itself is so bad that I actually can not justify keeping it around, even though I love all things Charlie’s Angels.




Rating:

Rated PG-13 for action/violence, language and some suggestive material




Video:

Shot on Arri Alexa and RED cameras (for some scenes) and finished at 2K for the home video release, Charlie’s Angels looks phenomenal on 1080p Blu-ray. The digital production is ultra glossy, ultra shiny, and full of tons of well saturated colors. The scene on the grass after Sabina, Jane and Elena get away from the assassin is marvelously colored, with shining examples of all the heavily saturated colors. Black levels are distinctly well done, and despite some softness in high CGI scenes, the general clarity and detail levels of the picture are very revealing. You can see every line on Bos’s face, as well as little hairs and threads on the costumes of the Angels. A spot on excellent Blu-ray presentation for sure.







Audio:

Once again Sony employs a bit of the carrot and the stick here with the audio mixes. While the 4K UHD gets the DTS:X next generation mix, the Blu-ray is left with the standard 5.1 DTS-HD MA lossless that we’ve come to expect. The mix is quite spicy and energetic, with lots of frenetic action and swirling sound effects. Still, the track is a bit thinner than expected and not as immersive as it could have been. Action is fun, bass is punchy when needed, although it really isn’t as heavy as I would have expected either. Nothing really stands out as a major negative for the 5.1 mix, and all in all it’s a satisfying track. Some good low end punch, plenty of action, but a little bit of a squashed dynamic range.






Extras:

• Gag Reel – Check out these fun and never-seen-before bloopers saved from the cutting room floor!
• 5 Deleted Scenes
• 4 Behind-the-scenes Featurettes
-- "Stronger Together: The Sisterhood of the Angels" – Watch how the Angels trio of Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott & Ella Balinska prepared for their iconic roles and formed a genuine sisterhood on set.
-- "Elizabeth Banks: As BOSSley" – We'll take a look at why the Charlie's Angels Director, Actress, Writer and Producer Elizabeth Banks is the perfect person to reintroduce audiences to this beloved, fun and action-packed franchise.
-- "Warriors on Set: Angels in Action" – The cast & crew take a look at some of the biggest action scenes from the film, including a peek behind-the-scenes of the stunt rehearsals with the cast.
-- "Tailored for Danger: Styling the Angels" – Learn all about the glamourous costumes, hair and make-up used to create the glitzy world of Charlie's Angels!
• "Don't Call Me Angel" Music Video featuring Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus & Lana Del Rey

Final Score: ​

As I said above, I actually wanted to like Charlie’s Angels. I liked the fluffiness of the 1970s TV show, the slapstick nature of the 2000’s reboot movies, but was horrified at the tone deaf nature of the 2019 film. Banks wanted this to be super duper PC and “woke” so badly that she lost sight of the pulpy core that is the heart of the franchise. Cute girls, girl power, and fluffy humor with action. What we got was an overly woke borefest that just couldn’t manage to awaken a modicum of energy in this viewer. The Blu-ray by Sony is perfectly fine, with good audio and great video, with some pretty standard extras. Personally, I would just skip the film though, as as the main story is nothing to really write home about.


Technical Specifications:

Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Patrick Stewart, Djimon Hounsou, Sam Claflin, Jonathan Tucker
Directed by: Elizabeth Banks
Written by: Elizabeth Banks
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5,1, Spanish (Castilian), DTS-HD MA 5.1Portuguese DTS-HD MA 5.1 French, Mandarin, Spanish (Latin) DD 5.1, English, French,
Subtitles: English, English SDH, French, Spanish
Studio: Sony
Rated: PG-13
Runtime: 118 Minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: March 10th 2020

Recommendation: Skip It

 

[tripplej]

Thanks for the review. I will stick with the original TV series as well as one of the earlier movie adaptations.