Kill 'em All - Blu-ray Review

[Michael Scott]

Kill 'em All

Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score: ​

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Movie
I have a confession to make. I collect and watch ALL of Jean Claude Van Damme’s movies. I was a kid in the 80s when he was just coming out and my entire teenage years were spent trying to imitate that giant jump spinning hook kick that he does (while doing the splits in the air) and he was actually one of the two people that inspired me to get into martial arts (which I’ve spent over 20 years practicing). I don’t care if the movie is good (many of them), bad (a good chunk of his later career) or plain awful. I’ll be there with bells on and a big bowl of popcorn. Back in the 90s Van Damme was THE action star to watch along with Stallone and Arnie (both of whom I watched religiously), and although he was NEVER a great actor I had a blast watching him due to his natural charisma and unique blend of martial arts. Like many actors of that generation he finally dropped off the theatrical radar right around the time Universal Soldier: The Return came out just past the turn of the century. Now he’s being forced to go to Romania and other Eastern European nations where he does DTV flick after DTV flick ala Stephen Seagal. Except that unlike Seagal, Van Damme still makes his movie enjoyable just by being in it. He has this strange ability to turn complete drek into at least entertaining drek. Same goes for Kill ‘em All. The movie is a horrible piece of DTV garbage, but Van Damme is solid in her performance and he does what we all really are watching the movie for anyways. Unleash some Van Dammage (sorry, I couldn’t help it).

Van Damme has gotten into a different Motif as of late. He used to be the boyish charmer with the big muscles and the ability to whip everyone’s butt standing still. As he’s gotten older the lifestyle of drugs and a few personal struggles had him looking a bit more beleaguered and rough. The last 5 years or so have actually shown quite a change in the aging actor star. He’s more cheerful, he’s in better shape than he’s been in years, and he’s changed his persona once again. Now he’s playing the rough and tumble guy who can take a beating and still fight his way through, even though he’s barely hanging on by the end. It’s that “never say die” mentality and I kind of like it. This time he’s Philip, a contractor who is caught in the crossfire when hitmen come to the hospital that he’s sent to when a hitman hit him and his boss. He rescues a young nurse named Suzanne (Autumn Reeser) and the two of the them are dodging bullets, knives and round house kicks in a last-ditch effort to get out of the place alive.

The film uses a neat little twist where the entire film is told through the narrative of Suzanne. It’s a few hours after the event and she’s being grilled by FBI agents Sanders (Maria Conchita Alonso) and Holman (Peter Stormare). Both agents think something is fishy about her story, and Suzanne is constantly on her guard as she tells the story of how Phillip saved her life and just tore up an entire hit squad of assassins. There’s another twist near the end that is meant to be clever, but it is one that most people saw coming a mile away and one I won’t spoil for you.

Kill ‘em All (not to be confused with the Well Go USA title of the same name) is in no way a GOOD movie. It’s even that good of a DTV flick. In fact, I’d say it’s just middle of the road (which isn’t a horrible thing if you’ve watched as much DTV action trash as I have). The movie doesn’t try to make anything horribly clever or intelligent (at least until the end), but keeps a very simple plot. Van Damme is a one man wrecking crew who has a handful of highly trained hitmen on his tail. Beat them down, stab or shot them after kicking their teeth in and moving on to the next one. However, that’s pretty much par for the course for these types of films. We’re not here to listen to a Shakespearean Monologue. We’re here to watch Van Damme do high kicks and bring the pain.

In that regard, I was decently entertained. Van Damme is naturally slowing down (which IS understandable considering he’s nearly 60), but the guy still has it in him to make a good anti-hero. The fights were decently choregraphed, but had a frustratingly large amount of quick cut edits, even when not used to make Van Damme look faster or better than his aging body can pull off. There’s a fight scene with his son Kris Van Damme (who does a pretty cool one on one with his dad half way through the film) and the guy can REALLY move, only to have the fight scene interrupted by too many edits. They weren’t HORRIBLE like some I’ve seen, but a few less would have made the movie a good bit more enjoyable. It was also nice to see Daniel Bernhardt show up to do a fight with Van Damme (you might recognize him as the night club fight villain in John Wick or the high kicking agent who fights Morpheus on the truck in The Matrix Reloaded) as I’ve been a fan of him ever since he did the crummy sequels to Bloodsport. Peter Stormare chews up the scenery as only Peter Stormare can (and trying VERY hard to adopt an American accent and failing miserably), but the rest of the cast is your basic DTV run of the mill performances.




Rating:

Rated R for violence and language




Video:

Sony puts for a good effort for the digitally shot film. Obviously filmed in some Eastern European country like Romania, the film has that sort of flat, yellowish DTV vibe to the colors. There’s a fairly neutral look in the FBI field office, and some minor colors (like the green of Agent’s Sanders fiddle toy that she plays with the entire time), but most of the time the color look a bit drained and we’re left with a flat look that is punctuated by some very bright white’s in the hospital and good black levels. I was actually REALLY impressed with said black levels, as there was very little crush and a surprising amount of detail on the black suits of all the baddies. It’s not a FANTSTIC looking transfer (there’s some digital noise in the flashbacks to Philip’s youth), but it’s a very stable and competent encode for a film on shoestring budget.






Audio:

Sony’s been doing this more and more recently, but Kill ‘em All has THREE DTS-HD MA lossless tracks. One in English, French AND Spanish, so all you non English speakers have some good lossless options to choose from. The English 5.1 mix is a very solid effort, but like the video is hampered just a little bit by the extremely low budget. LFE is minor and usually relegated to the score, leaving bullets to actually sound like bullets instead of howitzer cannons. Vocals are crisp and clear, without any distortions, and the surrounds are capable at delivering the hard hitting action.






Extras:

• Nothing, Zip Nada

Final Score:
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Is Kill ‘em All a great movie? Nah, but it’s a decent enough low budget action movie to appeal to those of us who like those DTV martial arts flicks that we grew up on. Van Damme is as fun as always (I was really hoping for a resurgence in his career after his awesome performance in The Expendables II, but sadly that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen), and there’s some decent fight scenes to watch. It won’t win any academy awards, but it’s that greasy piece of pizza covered with extra cheese and hot peppers. It’s nasty, unhealthy, but completely tasty in a junk food sort of way. Sony does a solid job with the technical specs, but unless you’re a hardcore Van Damme fan like myself, this one is probably a rental.



Technical Specifications:

Starring: Jean Claude Van Damme, Peter Stormare, Maria Conchita Alonso, Daniel Bernhardt
Directed by: Peter Malota
Written by: Jesse Cilio, Brian Smolensky
Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1, French, Spanish DTS-HD MA 5.1, Hungarian, Polish DD 5.1
Studio: Sony
Rated: R
Runtime: 96 minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: June 6th, 2017

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• Michael Scott
• May 11, 2017

Recommendation: Cheesy Rental

 

[Sonnie Parker]

I like his new look. I can't remember the last movie I watched with him, but it had been a while since I'd seen him in action. He basically had a buzz cut and I was surprised at how sharp he actually looked.

Although I've never been a big fan of his movies, they are still somewhat entertaining action.

 

[Michael Scott]

yeah, after his stint with drugs when he got in over his head as a star he really cleaned up his act and cleaned up his persona as well. Nice crew cut, and has made some semi decent DTV action flicks too. I mean, none of them are going to win awards or revitalize his career, but he choose ten times better projects than Segal, Cuba Gooding Jr. or even Dolph (who makes some decent schlock too)