Show Dogs - Blu-ray Review

[Michael Scott]

Show Dogs

Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score: ​

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Movie
Show Dogs is EXACTLY what it seems like on the surface. It’s a talking dog movie for the little kids in the family without any regards for the sanity of parents or babysitters. I really don’t have anything against the genre, as many a youngster has been entertained by these types of movies over the years, but as an adult I’ve felt my soul leave my body during viewings, and it’s been a desperate few years trying to return to normal after watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua (also directed by Raja Gosnell). This time we’re back again, with a bevy of fairly well known voice actors (and Will Arnett) to fight crime with talking dogs, a few pigeons, and even a tiger. All jokes aside, it’s a semi cute movie for the kiddy winks and does the job of a digital babysitter for those under 10 years old, but I warn the adults, this is not going to be a pretty one.

Max (voiced by rapper Ludacris) is a NYPD canine officer who has just gotten himself into an unlikely partnership. After smashing into an FBI sting on a purloiner of rare animals (this time it’s a baby panda), Max is partnered up with an FBI agent named Frank (Will Arnett), and tasked with infiltrating a giant dog show in Las Vegas in order to find out where the next rare animal theft is going to go down. The problem is, Max is the “toughest dog on the force” and “always works alone”, and Frank isn’t exactly enthused about working with a smelly canine either. At each others throats, the two can barely keep a semblance of civility between each other, let alone enter a world class dog show and come out on top, thereby setting themselves up as the bait.

To get the job done, Max and Frank have to team up with former show dog Philippe (Stanley Tucci) and human FBI canine consultant Mattie (Natasha Lyonne of Orange is the New Black) in order to fine tune their partnership skills and NOT have their cover blown in the process. The usual hijinks happen, I began seriously considering jumping off a bridge, and then the usual cliché of working together and becoming friends allows the two to nab their man.

At about the 15 minute mark I asked my wife to take any sharp objects out of the room as I was seriously considering using them on my wrists. Show Dogs is a painful film for adults, and really, it shows a low point for Will Arnett. The man is a comedic genius who has starred with his ex-wife Amy Poehler in DOZENS of films, and made a big name for himself as Batman in the Lego movies. He seems bleary eyed and completely bored with the script. So much so that I wonder if he asked to have sharp objects removed from his dressing room as well. By the time the 2nd act rolled around I had sharpened my TV remote into a shiv with my teeth and began ritual hari kiri on myself to no avail. The three acts are cheesy, filled with bad jokes about other movies (including one where Will Arnett is accused of being in The Lego Movie), but I continued on.

Ludacris also seems to be having a pretty abysmal time, with his usual boisterous personality subdued and blandly reading from a script (again, I’m almost dead certain he had sharp objects taken from his dressing room). The supporting cast really tries their best, but even Stanley Tucci, Jordin Sparks, Gabriel Iglesias, Shaq (yes, that Shaq), Alan Cumming, and a bevy of other comedians can’t keep this dog turd afloat. If you make it to the end of this film, then I salute you. And once again, I must warn you that if you have never had thoughts of self harm, you may experience some and I highly recommend taking away anything that might be used to that effect before hand.




Rating:

Rated PG for suggestive and rude humor, language and some action




Video:

The digitally shot Show Dogs is actually really impressive on Blu-ray. The opening shot in New York City is crisp and clean, with a “family friendly” color grading that seems to border on neutral with slight hints of a yellow and gold push. Facial details are more than detailed enough, showing the constant 5 O’clock shadow on Will Arnett’s face (he looks like he shaved once during the filming of the movie), and Max’s hairy body shows every mottled color, and every shedding fur particle. The CGI for the dog’s moving mouths is a little bit goofy, as is the CGI for the panda and the pigeons, but for a low budget movie they used it judiciously enough so that it isn’t always GLARINGLY obvious. Blacks are deep and inky, but I did notice some digital noise on the Las Vegas nightlife. Overall, this is an excellent looking digital image and Universal’s Blu-ray is near flawless.





Audio:

I wasn’t really expecting much for the audio on a cheaply done kids movie (at least a DTV movie), but I was blown away how well the track sounds. It’s aggressive, exciting, and full of nuanced little details that make the track a delight to listen to. The sounds of the chase in the opening scene rumbles with power, and uses the surrounds to great use with the little ambient noises that make you feel like you’re in the center of the chase. The LFE is constantly active, with a heavy score and quite a few action action sequences to keep the low end hopping. Dialog is crisp and clean, (which is pretty easy to do with pre production voice work in the studio for voice acting), and the dynamics are surprisingly wide. The dog show itself highlights some really soft moments of dialog, only to be shaken up with a roaring crowd and the blare of trumpets. If anything, the 5.1 DTS-HD MA track is probably the highlight of the Blu-ray itself.






Extras:

• Nada

Final Score: ​

As you can see, I had a little fun with this review. All in all, it’s not a film that most young children will find offensive, and it has enough cute animals and hijinks to keep them interested. Parents on the other hand, they may find that it is a bit of a rough go, especially if you’ve already seen things like Beverly Hills Chihuahua and the live action Scooby Doo movies. The audio and video are absolutely top notch for Universal DTV movies, but sadly (well, maybe not sadly, no one really wants to see anything behind the scenes about THIS movie) there are zero extras on the disc. As someone who has sat through many a Barbie and Tinkerbell movie, there are much better digital babysitters out there, and I would just recommend skipping the entire thing.



Technical Specifications:

Starring: Will Arnett, Ludacris, Natasha Lyonee
Directed by: Raja Gosnell
Written by: Max Botkin, Marc Hyman
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 AVC
Audio: English: DTS-HD MA 5.1, Spanish DTS 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish,
Studio: Universal
Rated: PG
Runtime: 91 Minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: August 21st, 2018

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• Michael Scott
• May 11, 2017

Recommendation: Skip It

 

[tripplej]

Thanks for the review. I will skip based on your recommendation.