The Guardians - DVD Review

[Michael Scott]

The Guardians




Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Extras:
Final Score:


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Movie
Ahhh yes, Russian film making. If you’ve never watched a Russian action, sci-fi or superhero movie you’re in for a real treat. There’s nothing quite like them in the world, and while The Guardians looks like it’s one of those Asylum knockoff films of Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s actually a bizarre superhero movie that rips off countless Marvel movies in it’s insane rush to their own version of a blockbuster. If you haven’t seen their sci-fi films, be warned that they use plenty of cheap CGI, and weak acting, but it looks leagues better than most of the DTV sci-fi films from the U.S. due to them putting a lot of effort into them (despite the lack of a worldwide theatrical run). The Guardians is one of those movies that feels like an amalgamation of Guardian’s of the Galaxy, Captain America, The Avengers and a weird take on The X-MEN while mixing in a healthy dose of Russian stoicism to make one of the most awful, hilarious, and incredibly entertaining sci-flicks I’ve seen in a while.

Well, there’s really not THAT much of a plot here. At least a plot that we haven’t seen before. The film starts out with a historical flashback that sets the background for what’s about to happen. A Russian super soldier program was created back in the 1970s under the direction of Dr. Avgust Kuratov (Aleksandr Komissarov), but things went horribly awry. Dr. Kuratov was working on a device that would allow someone to control all things electronic with his mind when a terrible explosion injures him during an experiment. The explosion altered the twisted Dr.’s DNA, making him incredibly strong, and a bit of a sociopath. Escaping into the night the super secret project (titled PATRIOT) is shut done, but years later the mad Dr. comes back into the limelight. Stealing military equipment in the present day, and in possession of his completed electronic controlling device, Kuratov plans to take over the world. A goal that the Russian government can not allow to happen.

Putting Major Elena Larina (Valeriya Razbegaev) in charge of PATRIOT, the government clues her in to the fact that Kuratov is not the only super powered being. He had created a host of other mutants who have vanished off the face of the earth and it’s up to the Major to find them and form them into a fighting force that will be able to take down the mad scientist. Bringing together the 4 that she can find (A werebear named Arsus, Lernik the telekinetic rock man, an invisible woman by the name of Kseniya , and a Khan, a super fast ninja with speed near teleportation levels). Together they have to find a way to control their powers and take revenge on the Dr. that created their curse so many decades ago.

Let me start this out by saying that there is NOTHING new in The Guardians. It’s a hybrid of most every Marvel movie out there, and you can tell that they tried REALLY hard for this to be a full on series. The last few moments of the movie reminds of very strongly of The Avengers, where the group of super heroes fades off into the darkness, but with hints that there are more adventures to be had in the future where they will need to team up once more. The first few minutes of the film had me wincing in sheer terror, but that terror fades away to a bit sloppy grin over the face as I realized that this was shaping up to be the next Iron Sky, just with Russians instead of German. The Russian superhero flick takes itself RIDICULOUSLY serious, with that straightforward stoicism that the Russians have, combined with the insanity of Mexican Telenova TV (just without the bikinis and random Benny Hill comedy). I mean, how can you not laugh when a group of superheros comes together and we have one of them who can turn into a full on Russian bear, carrying a telepathically controlled pair of shoulder mounted gatling guns!? I want that to sink in for a moment. A bear, carrying a gatling gun, that is controlled by his mind. Yes, you read that right, you can’t make this stuff up. Then there’s a man who can control rocks and is outfitted with an electrically charged rock whip, a girl who turn invisible, and a ninja (In Russia) that can move faster than lighting. Yes, you’re in for the craziest superhero movie that you’ve ever seen.




Rating:

Not Rated by the MPAA




Video:

Being a Russian made film with a lower than normal budget, The Guardians actually looks really good on DVD. The 480p disc doesn’t look as shiny as a Blu-ray, but the digital venture looks clean and precisely detailed throughout. There’s some dodgy CGI that looks awkward, but the steel gray and blue looking image is dotted with some bright neon colors (such as Kuratov’s chest glow, or the neon blues of the super power energy fields that are generated). Facial details and details on the clothing, like the super suits, are more than commendable, and the overall clarity is pretty impressive. The CGI scenes look a bit softer than normal, and you can tell there’s some definite green screen usage, but the disc itself is free from any major artifacting and is about as good as a DTV film like this will ever look.






Audio:

The 5.1 mixes come with either an English dub, or the original Russian recording, and I’m going to have to lean towards the Russian mix. Not because I’m a purist (which I am), but due to the fact that the English dub is HORRIBLE. It sounds like a couple of guys got together on a Friday night and recorded the whole thing in one session. Plus the original Russian dialects help sell the hilarity as they sound about as wooden as only Russians can be. The bass is hot and heavy, with quite a few action scenes that really tear up the low end. Surrounds are solid, and dialog crisp and clear, but I did notice that during the action shots the sound stage got really claustrophobic and feels muddy in comparison to the dialog.


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Extras:

• Theatrical Trailer
• Character Profiles
• New Interviews with Cast and Crew

Final Score: ​

The movie is NOT good, but The Guardians is so ridiculous and hilariously serious that you just can’t help but giggle along. The special effects are pretty solid for a DTV film from a nation that is NOT known for making high quality films, and the acting stiff and wooden. Remember, in Russia, Superheroe Movie's YOU! Ok, you get the idea by now. This is a completely crazy flick that really isn’t going to win over many people, except those willing to just have fun with the insanity. I have no idea how Shout Factory got a hold of this one, but I’m actually rather glad they did (supposedly the Blu-ray is being released in December), as it was a great change of pace from the indie flicks and standard fare blockbusters that have been saturating my review cycle the last month or so. While I can’t recommend it on a technical level, The Guardians is a fun watch that really must be seen to be believed. Audio is OK and Video very solid, and there’s even some fun little interviews with the cast that are worth checking out if you can get your hands on the disc.




Technical Specifications:

Starring: Anton Pampushnyy, Sanjar Madi, Sebastien Sisak
Directed by Sarik Andreasyan
Written by: Sarik Andreasyan, Andrey Gavrilov
Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 MPEG2
Audio: English: Dolby Digital 5.1, English DD 2.0, Russian DD 5.1, Russian DD 2.0
Studio: Shout Factory
Rated: NR
Runtime: 89 Minutes
DVD Release Date: September 5th, 2017

Recommendation: Hilariously bad/awesome Watch

 

[tripplej]

Thanks for the review. Oh man.. I will just check this out of curiosity ..